Are You Ready To Walk Down The Aisle?

Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience – Samuel Johnson
Good news for women: experts predict that at least 4 out of 5 women in today's generation will eventually get married. Statistics from the National Marriage Project show that more than 90 percent of women from every generation in the records have gotten hitched.

On the downside, data from the National Center for Health Statistics show that 50 percent of all marriages in which the brides are 25 or older end up in divorce for various reasons. It seems risky to get married because of the high divorce rate. But marriage has always been a risk since you don’t know how well you’ll get along with someone under the same roof regardless of how long you’ve known one another.

There is no foolproof way to find out if you’re ready to get married or not. What you can do is find out how well you really know your partner before you take your relationship to the next level and get engaged.

Here are some issues to reflect on:

Beliefs and Values

• Do you and your partner have the same religious and political affiliation? If not, do you accept, respect and support each other's spiritual and political beliefs?
• Do you value similar things like eating meals together?
• Does your partner do things that you don't approve of, such as smoking and drinking alcohol or vice versa?
• Can you put up with your partner’s idiosyncrasies?
• Do the two of you have the same views when it comes to sex? (How often? Can you talk openly about it? Are you both satisfied?)
• How do you handle disagreements as a couple?

Personal Lives

• Are you aware of your partner’s medical history? (Things to consider are sexually transmitted diseases, chronic illness, history of illness in the family, special needs, etc.)
• Has your partner ever been accused of a crime or jailed?
• How was your partner's childhood like?
• How do you spend your free time? Do you spend it with friends or do you prefer some “alone time”?
• What are your partner's hobbies and passions? Do you understand and support them? Is he or she supportive of yours?
• Is your partner open to discussing past relationships? Will you be comfortable with the information he or she reveals?
• VERY IMPORTANT: Do you get along with your partner's parents?

Finances and Career

• What is your partner's financial situation, including outstanding debt, credit score, etc.? (Once married, you will make financial decisions together)
• Will both of you work?
• Are you satisfied with your partner's ambition when it comes to work?
• How many hours do you think should be devoted to work each week? How much time will you spend together?
• How will you spend your total income? How much will you set aside for savings? Do you think you’ll agree on what to spend on, like vacations, cars, clothing and education of children?
• Who will be in charge of your finances, like investments, balancing the checkbook, paying bills and taxes? Are you open to sharing the responsibilities?

Home and Family Life

• Do you plan to buy a house and when?
• Where do you plan to live? Are you open to relocating?
• Do you plan to have children?
• Do you agree on how many children you plan to have?
• Who will stay home to take care of the kids?
• Are you open to having any stepchildren around, if there are any?
• How will you divide the household chores like cooking, shopping for groceries and doing laundry?
• How will the in-laws fit in with your family life?
• Do you plan to have pets?
• Do you agree on where to send the children for schooling?
  

Marriage is one of the most beautiful things you can experience. Picking the right partner is one of the most important decisions of your life. Your future depends on your choice so don’t take the plunge unless you’re absolutely at peace with your decision.